


I Found My Heart and Broke it Here

by OfAllTheGinJoints_InAllTheTowns



Series: I Found My Heart and Broke it Here [1]
Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-15 08:26:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9226652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfAllTheGinJoints_InAllTheTowns/pseuds/OfAllTheGinJoints_InAllTheTowns
Summary: Normani doesn't understand why Lauren hates Camila Cabello so much.





	1. Normani

Lauren has this deep and unapologetic hatred for Camila Cabello, and Normani doesn't get it. 

 

Sure, there are some celebrities that Normani dislikes for various reasons. Maybe it's the sound of their voice or the way they conduct themselves, but Lauren's hatred for Camila Cabello goes beyond a surface level dislike. It's almost personal. And whenever Normani asks, Lauren avoids the topic like the plague and leaves the room before she can question her any further.

 

Normani has only known Lauren for a little over a year, but the two have been best friends ever since she answered Lauren's ad searching for a roommate. So she's gotten used to Lauren's occasional moodiness and sometimes sour attitude. All of this seems to be heightened with the mention of Camila Cabello, however.

 

Normani first notices it on a Sunday night. They're watching a music awards show and the show is one commercial break away from announcing album of the year. Normani is seriously hoping that Rihanna will win, but she has tough competition this year with other high caliber artists in the category.  

 

Lauren is sitting back against the couch cushions with her arms crossed and a pout on her face. She's not the biggest fan of awards shows.

 

When the program resumes, Ariana Grande, the previous year's winner, walks out onto the stage to announce the new winner. "And the award for album of the year goes to...Camila Cabello!" 

 

The audience erupts into applause and Camila's shocked expression is shown just as Lauren reaches for the remote and shuts off the TV. 

 

"What the hell, Lo?" Normani demands. "In case you couldn't tell I was watching that." 

 

"Sorry." Lauren says, clearly not apologetic in the slightest. She grabs the remote and tosses it to Normani. "Here. Have at it. I'm going to bed." 

 

Normani catches the remote and raises an eyebrow at her friend. "I wanted my girl Rihanna to win, but there's no need to shut off the TV in rebellion. Camila Cabello is cool too." 

 

Lauren huffs. "That's a matter of opinion." 

 

Normani is beyond confused over her friend's severe reaction to the young pop star. "Do you like hate her or something? I didn't even know you kept up with pop artists." 

 

"Something like that." Lauren throws over her shoulder before slamming her door. 

 

* * *

 

Normani comes to find that she actually quite likes Camila Cabello's music after doing a little research on the girl. Her songs are catchy and from what she's gathered from a few interviews, her personality is very endearing. 

 

So she starts listening to her music like all the time.  

 

It drives Lauren insane.  

 

"Don't you have any other music on your phone?" Lauren grumbles after Normani turns Camila's album on for the third time that week.  

 

"Of course I do." Normani responds. "But nothing as hot as this album at the moment. Come on, you've gotta admit her songs are pretty catchy." 

 

Lauren glares at the Bluetooth speaker. "They aren't all that special." 

 

Normani sighs and gives in. "Fine, I'll play Drake or something." 

 

Lauren's frown disappears but she still seems miffed. "Thank you." 

 

* * *

 

Normani finds out that Camila Cabello is holding a CD signing in downtown Miami next month, and she freaks the fuck out. Camila Cabello is kind of her favorite artist at the moment, and it's the kind of opportunity she can't pass up. 

 

So as soon as Lauren comes into the apartment after work, Normani is practically shouting the news at her. "Camila Cabello is coming to Miami next month! She's doing a CD signing at Waverly Records downtown and you better bet your Cuban ass I'm gonna be there!" 

 

Lauren shrugs off her jacket and grabs a beer out the the fridge, popping the cap and taking a sip. "That's great, Mani." She congratulates, forcing a smile. 

 

"You know what would make my day even better?" Normani asks.  

 

"Hmm?" Lauren quirks an eyebrow. 

 

"If my best friend went with me to the signing." Normani says slyly.  

 

Lauren laughs out loud. "You can't be serious." 

 

Normani's smile falters slightly. She knows Lauren's hatred for Camila all too well by this point. "I know you hate her, but you've never told me why." She says softly. 

 

Lauren's lips curl into a frown. "I just do...okay?" She finishes off her beer and tosses it into the trash. "I'm going to bed." Is all she says as she slips past Normani. 

 

Normani watches her friend disappear down the hallway. None of this makes any sense. 

 

* * *

 

Normani goes to the record signing alone, but not before asking Lauren to come with like 50 more times just in case. She waits in line for 3 hours, but it's more than worth it to get to see her favorite artist. Camila Cabello is incredibly sweet and down to earth. Normani gathers this from the twenty seconds she actually gets to spend with the girl. The best part about the whole thing is that Camila lets her record a video.  

 

Normani is bubbling with excitement the whole ride home, and she barges into Lauren's bedroom the second she gets home. "Guess what!?" She practically shouts at Lauren, who is in the middle of typing up a report for work.  

 

Lauren shuts her laptop and sits up straight, eyeing her friend with concern. "Is everything alright?" 

 

"Everything is more than alright, Lo! Camila Cabello just recorded a video for me! Well actually, she recorded it for you." Normani admits. 

 

"What?" Lauren's eyes widen and her face turns pale.  

 

Normani scrolls through her phone and hands it to Lauren. "Check it out." 

 

The video is of Camila smiling brightly at the camera. Normani's voice cuts into the video asking Camila to say hi to her friend Lauren. 

 

Camila's smile widens. "Lauren, hmm? Hi, Lauren. I love you!" She says, blowing a kiss to the camera. 

 

The video ends and Lauren is staring down at the screen with an unreadable expression. 

 

"Oh, yeah! I almost forgot, I left her CD in the car." Normani says, standing up and leaving Lauren with her phone. "Wait til you see her handwriting, it's so cute!" 

 

Normani comes back up a minute later, and stops in Lauren's doorway when she finds her friend still staring down at her phone. The video of Camila is playing and Lauren is smiling softly down at the camera, her fingers brushing the across the screen as if she could touch the person behind it. 

 

Normani clears her throat, raising an eyebrow at her friend. "Uh, here's the CD." 

 

Lauren exits out of the video on Normani's phone and hands it back to her. She looks kind of sad, and her eyes are empty. Mostly she just seems tired. Of what, Normani doesn't know. "I'm happy you had a great day, Mani. I think I'm going to head out for a bit tonight." She says, standing up and grabbing her jacket. "See you later, okay?" 

 

"Lauren, wait!" Normani calls after her friend. "Did you like the video?" 

 

Lauren stops just as her hand reaches the front door handle. Her eyes soften and she fakes a smile. "I uh, yeah. Thanks." 

 

Normani listens to the sound of the door shutting and wishes she knew why Camila Cabello bothered Lauren so damn much. 

 

* * *

 

 Camila Cabello releases her upcoming tour dates on her social media, and Normani screams when she sees Miami on the list. 

 

She buys two tickets immediately with the intention of dragging Lauren to the concert. The idea of getting Lauren to go seems far fetched, but Normani knows she can guilt her into it.  

 

"Please, Lauren! You know how much this means to me. It's just one concert. Plus, I went to that one concert with you last year so you wouldn't have to go alone, even though I didn't like the music." Normani points out over breakfast one morning after she choses to bring it up. 

 

Lauren frowns.  

 

Normani sighs. She knows what's coming. 

 

"Normani-" Lauren begins. 

 

Normani glares at her friend. "Don't even say it, Lo. I know. You hate her. You don't want anything to do with Camila Cabello. And I wouldn't have a problem with it if you would just tell me why. But you're not going to tell me, are you? For God's sake, she's just a singer." 

 

Lauren looks shocked at Normani's outburst. Her expression changes from angry to sad to conflicted so quickly Normani almost misses it. When Lauren doesn't say anything, Normani rolls her eyes and stands up, heading out of the kitchen.  

 

"I'll go." Lauren says, putting an end to the tense silence. 

 

Normani whips around. "What?" 

 

"I'll go with you...to the concert." 

 

"Seriously?" Normani asks with a growing smile. 

 

Lauren smiles weakly back at her. "Yes." 

 

* * *

 

To make matters better, (or worse in Lauren's case) Normani wins backstage passes. She's driving to work on a Tuesday morning and the radio host announces a surprise giveaway to the 7th person to call in to the station. Normani is stuck in traffic and she's pretty bored, so she fumbles for her phone and dials the number the host reads off. 

 

She almost drops the phone when someone picks up on the other end of the line, and the car behind her lays on the horn to get her to move up a bit.  

 

"Congrats caller number 7! You've just won two backstage passes to see Camila Cabello's tour next week in Miami." The host tells her. 

 

"Holy shit!" Normani exclaims. "Oh my gosh, thank you so much!"  

 

She hears beeping again and realizes that traffic has started to pick up speed a bit, so she balances her phone between her shoulder and ear as she finishes up the call with the host. 

 

* * *

 

It's the day of the concert and Normani is bouncing in her seat as Lauren drives them to the venue. "I heard she's amazing live." She tells Lauren with a dreamy look in her eyes. 

 

"I bet." Lauren says dryly. 

 

"Oh come on, Lauren. Try to have a little fun tonight, will you?" 

 

Lauren turns to look at Normani, and Normani knows that the green eyed girl wants to say something snarky, but she holds it back. "Fine." She grits out. 

 

They make it into the venue after waiting in line for an hour, and walk up to the guest services desk to receive further instructions on where to go for the backstage access. They wait about fifteen minutes until security comes to escort them, and Lauren looks increasingly pale the whole time.  

 

"Are you okay?" Normani asks Lauren, placing a hand on top of her shaking one. 

 

"I'm alright." Lauren insists as they are directed backstage and asked to wait in a lounge area. 

 

"Are you sure?" Normani prods. "Because you look like you're about to be sick." 

 

Lauren smiles reassuringly. "I think I ate bad takeout or something for lunch today. I'll be fine." 

 

A woman in black attire wearing a headset comes over to greet them. "Ms. Cabello is on her way. She'll be here in just one moment." 

 

"Oh my gosh, Lauren! I can't believe we get to meet her, and for more than a few seconds!" Normani says. Her heart is beating like 1000 times per second.  

 

She hears the click of heels just around the corner. "I think that's her!" She tells Lauren.  

 

Lauren looks worried, like really worried. She places her hand on Normani's knee and looks her in the eye. "Normani, please don't be mad at me." 

 

Normani furrows her brows. "What? Why?" 

 

Lauren opens her mouth to speak. "The thing is-" 

 

"-Hi guys! I'm Camila. It's nice to meet you." Normani hears from directly in front of her. 

 

Lauren and Normani whip their heads to face the girl.  

 

It happens so incredibly fast. Normani can barely keep up. 

 

Camila's wide smile drops into a frown.  

 

Lauren inhales a sharp breath.  

 

"Lauren?" Camila sputters out, stunned beyond belief. 

 

Lauren smiles sheepishly, standing up and scratching the back of her neck nervously. "Hi, Camz." 

 

Normani watches the exchange in absolute wonder. 

 

_Oh._


	2. Lauren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lauren wishes Normani would pick a different artist to obsess over.

 

Lauren hates awards shows. So when Normani begs her to watch the AMAs with her on a Sunday night she has to be dragged out into the living room. She only obliges because Normani offers her beer. 

 

Lauren is normally a relatively quiet and agreeable human, but when it comes to certain things she tends to get overly heated. She can't really blame Normani, because of course she has no idea. But she still kind of wishes she would've just stayed in her room.  

 

Lauren takes another sip of her beer just as the program resumes. One of the biggest awards of the night, album of the year, is about to be announced, and Lauren studies Normani's anxious look as she awaits the reveal. Normani is hoping that Rihanna will steal the title, but Lauren already knows who is going to win. 

 

"And the award for album of the year goes to...Camila Cabello!" Ariana Grande announces and the audience cheers enthusiastically.  

 

Lauren had been apprehensive about it the whole night, but as time went on she figured maybe she could handle it, but the moment Camila's face pops onto the screen Lauren's heart turns to stone. She swallows the sickening taste in her mouth and reaches for the remote, turning the TV off. 

 

"What the hell, Lo?" Normani questions her. "In case you couldn’t tell I was watching that." 

 

"Sorry." She mutters, not really caring that she just ruined Normani's climatic moment. She notices her best friend's glare and tosses over the remote. "Here. Have at it. I'm going to bed." 

 

Normani eyes her suspiciously. "I wanted my girl Rihanna to win, but there's no need to shut off the TV in rebellion. Camila Cabello is cool too." 

 

"That's a matter of opinion." Lauren shoots back bitterly.  

 

Normani looks incredibly confused. "Do you like hate her or something? I didn't even know you kept up with pop artists." 

 

"Something like that." Lauren mutters, disappearing behind her door and taking a deep breath.  

 

She doesn't hate Camila Cabello, her heart just closes in on itself every time she is reminded of her. Which is quite often, because Lauren works as a secretary at a small record label and Camila is arguably the biggest name in music right now and everyone loves to talk about her. Seeing her on TV is just another shot to the heart.  

 

She feels a little bit bad for snapping at Normani, but figures she can make it up to her by getting her a smoothie from her favorite café the next day. 

 

* * *

 

Lauren does get Normani her smoothie, but what she hopes will be water under the bridge doesn't end with her unspoken apology. As it turns out, Normani begins to take a particular liking to Camila's music, so she plays it around the apartment.  

 

Like, all the time. 

 

Now, Lauren won't admit it to Normani, but she's actually really proud of how well Camila's album turned out. It’s a sonical masterpiece and incredibly well written, but when she knows that half of the songs on it are about her, she finds it hard to enjoy listening to it. 

 

So she tells Normani to shut it off. "Don't you have any other music on your phone?" She complains to her best friend, hoping she'll get the hint. 

 

"Of course I do. But nothing as hot as this album at the moment." Normani says, waving her off. "Come on, you’ve gotta admit her songs are pretty catchy."  

 

Lauren gazes at Normani's speaker, thinking of ways she could 'accidentally' break it. "They aren't all that special." She replies. 

 

Normani sighs. "Fine, I'll play Drake or something." 

 

"Thank you." While Lauren is happy that Normani changed the music, she already knows that she's going to spend the rest of the day thinking about Camila. She wonders if she'll ever learn to be unaffected by the girl. 

 

* * *

 

Sometimes, when Normani is at work on a Friday, one of Lauren's days off, she'll allow herself to reminisce. It's only every once in a while, when she's feeling particularly lonely or when she accidentally comes across Camila's old sweatshirt hidden in the back of her closet.  

 

She'll drag the worn out box out from under the bed and dig around until she finds the old photo album, flipping through pages until she finds the ones that include her. 

 

The familiar pang will strike her heart, and for a moment she'll let it. But it always becomes too much, so she shuts the book and tosses it back into the box, pushing it back under her bed with the rest of her secrets. 

 

* * *

 

She comes home from work the next week to find Normani already waiting for her in the kitchen. She looks really excited about something and she knows she won't have to wait another second to find out why. 

 

"Camila Cabello is coming to Miami next month! She's doing a CD signing at Waverly Records downtown and you better bet your Cuban ass I'm gonna be there!" Normani tells her animatedly.  

 

Lauren tenses at the news, but covers it up by taking off her jacket and reaching into the fridge for a cold beer. She takes a gulp and forces herself to look happy for Normani. "That's great, Mani." 

 

"You know what would make my day even better?" Normani asks her. 

 

"Hmm?" Lauren responds. 

 

"If my best friend went with me to the signing." Normani informs her. 

 

"You can't be serious." Lauren laughs because the thought of showing up to one of Camila's signings is beyond absurd. She hasn't seen her in almost three years, and she's almost sure Camila wouldn't want anything to do with her.  

 

Normani looks disappointed but not surprised. "I know you hate her, but you've never told me why." She points out. 

 

Lauren freezes up. She doesn't talk about Camila to anyone. Anyone who knew about the two of them exited Lauren's life a long time ago, and she prefers to keep the past in the past. Lost in her own thoughts, she realizes that Normani is still awaiting an answer.  

 

"I just do...okay?" She knows it's a shitty response but it's all that she's willing to give, so she chugs the rest of her beer and exits the kitchen. "I'm going to bed." 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Today is the day that Camila comes back to Miami. Even though she hasn't spoken to her in ages, she's always hyper aware of when Camila comes back home. Something about being so close to her comforts Lauren, even though she knows that she'll probably never find the guts to approach her again.  

 

Normani asks her to come to the signing one last time before she walks out the door, and Lauren manages to politely decline without any bite to her tone. 

 

Later that night, she's busy finishing up some projects for work when Normani comes bursting into her room, wide eyed and glowing. "Guess what!?" 

 

"Is everything alright?" She asks Normani, even though she knows exactly what's got her so excited.  

 

Normani beams at her. "Everything is more than alright, Lo! Camila Cabello just recorded a video for me! Well actually, she recorded it for you." 

 

Lauren swallows the lump in throat. "What?"  

 

Normani pulls up the video and surrenders her phone to Lauren before she can protest. "Check it out." 

 

Camila's face appears as the video starts. She's sitting behind a table signing CD's. She's dressed simply with minimal makeup, but Lauren still thinks she looks beautiful. 

 

"Could you please say hi to my friend Lauren?" Normani asks nervously from behind the camera. 

 

Camila smiles at the camera. "Lauren, hmm? Hi, Lauren, I love you!" The brown eyed girl blows a kiss at the camera right as the video ends. 

 

For a moment Lauren forgets that Normani is there. She's too busy staring down at the screen, feeling way too many things at once.  

 

Normani brings her back to reality. "Oh, yeah! I almost forgot, I left her CD in the car." She stands up and heads for the door. "Wait til you see her handwriting, it's so cute!" 

 

Lauren waits until Normani exits the apartment to replay the video, smiling despite herself. Camila's personality was always quirky, and clearly that hasn't changed. God, she misses her.  

 

She hears someone clear their throat, and looks up to see Normani watching her from the doorway with a raised eyebrow. Shit, she should've been more careful.  

 

"Uh, here's the CD." Normani says. 

 

Lauren locks the screen and hands the phone back to Normani. She's feeling really off all of a sudden and needs to get out of the apartment. "I'm happy you had a great day, Mani." She tells her sincerely. "I think I'm going to head out for a bit tonight. See you later, okay?" 

 

She grabs her jacket and hurries for the front door in desperate need of some fresh air. 

 

"Lauren, wait!" Normani calls after her. "Did you like the video?" 

 

Lauren smiles softly, barely turning around to face her. "I, uh, yeah. Thanks." 

 

She doesn't wait for Normani to respond and closes the door behind her.  

 

* * *

 

She goes to the same bar she's been going to for the past seven years, even before she was technically allowed to drink.  

 

The bartender pours her the usual, and she downs it in one take, signaling for another right away. 

 

"Wow, Lauser. I go three years without seeing you and you go and turn yourself into a disaster. I've gotta say I'm pretty disappointed." 

 

Lauren's heart nearly jumps out of her chest. "Dinah." She turns around to greet the old familiar voice, eying the girl as she approaches.  "What are you doing here?" 

 

"Just grabbing a drink at my old favorite place." Dinah informs her, taking a seat on the stool next to Lauren's. "I figured I'd take a trip down memory lane while I'm back in town." 

 

Lauren scans the room, fiddling with her hands nervously. "Is she here?" 

 

Dinah shakes her head. "No. She's at home with her family." 

 

Lauren wishes she didn't care, but she does, so much. She can't help but ask. "How is she?" 

 

Dinah's eyes soften. "She's doing really good. Her album is tearing apart the charts right now. It's doing better than predicted. If everything falls into place she could be looking at her first Grammy." 

 

Lauren nods, the simple information igniting her heart on fire. "I've heard it. She absolutely killed it."  

 

Dinah nods in agreement. "So what have you been up to? Looks like you didn't end up in LA like you planned." Dinah observes, bringing up Lauren's old dream from the past. 

 

Lauren shakes her head. "I kind of gave up on that after well, you know." She smiles sadly. "But I'm working for a label right now. It's smaller and I'm only a secretary, but there's room for me to work up. I'm...happy. She says unconvincingly.  

 

Dinah watches her curiously, not saying anything for a moment. There's a slight tension between the two, nothing too heavy but enough to make Lauren feel awkward and out of place. 

 

"She misses you, you know." Dinah says after a moment, taking a sip of her drink. 

 

Lauren frowns. "I highly doubt that." 

 

"She never really got over you. You broke her heart." Dinah accuses her. 

 

Lauren feels her eyes watering up. Her hands clench into fists. "I was setting her free." 

 

"Were you though?" Dinah questions her, narrowing her eyes. "Or were you just scared?" 

 

Lauren thinks the way Dinah is dissecting her is incredibly unfair. She glares at the Tongan girl. "You might think you know everything, Dinah Jane, but you don't. I wasn't what she needed."  

 

"But you were what she wanted!" Dinah raises her voice, drawing the attention of the other patrons in the bar.  

 

"I have to go." Lauren says angrily, a few tears slipping from her eyes. "It was great seeing you, DJ." She tells Dinah sarcastically, throwing some money onto the counter and fleeing the bar. 

 

She ignores Dinah when she calls after her. 

 

She doesn't go straight to her car. Instead she crosses the street and walks through the park, collapsing onto a bench and crying angry tears into her hands. She's angry at herself, at Dinah, at Camila, and the goddamn universe for tearing them apart. 

 

Lauren makes sure to come home well after Normani has fallen asleep, because she looks like Hell and is way too tired to explain her disheveled state to her best friend.  

 

* * *

 

 

Lauren decides that maybe it's time to move on, so when Normani plays Camila's music, she stops asking her to turn it off. Instead she forces herself to listen until the dull ache in her heart disappears. (It never really does though.)  

 

* * *

 

Normani buys two tickets to Camila's tour, and asks Lauren to go with her. "Please, Lauren! You know how much this means to me. It's just one concert. Plus, I went to that one concert with you last year so you wouldn't have to go alone, even though I didn't like the music."  

 

Her best friend knows how to play dirty, and Lauren finds herself stuck between a rock and a hard place. She frowns. There's no way she can go. "Normani-" 

 

Normani clearly doesn't want to hear another one of her excuses. "Don't even say it, Lo. I know. You hate her. You don't want anything to do with Camila Cabello. And I wouldn't have a problem with it if you would just tell me why. But you're not going to tell me, are you? For God's sake, she's just a singer." 

 

The last bit seems to strike a chord with Lauren, because she's reminded that Normani has no idea why Lauren has such an aversion to Camila. Camila isn't just a singer. She's the girl that took Lauren's whole heart and never gave it back. She's running out of excuses, and she isn't ready to tell Normani because she probably won't even believe her. So she tells her she'll go. 

 

"I'll go." She blurts out just as Normani is about to slip out of the kitchen. 

 

"What?" Normani asks in clear disbelief. 

 

"I'll go with you...to the concert." She manages to get out a second time. There's no going back from here and she knows it. 

 

Normani smiles excitedly. "Seriously?"  

 

Lauren forces a weak smile in return. "Yes." 

 

* * *

 

Lauren is okay with going to the concert. She decides that its what she needs to do to officially move on. 

 

But then Normani wins backstage passes. Somehow, out of all the possible people on all the possible days, Normani calls up a fucking radio station and wins backstage passes to Lauren's secret ex girlfriend's concert. How fucking fantastic.  

 

She knows that she could just back out. Normani would ignore her for a week, but eventually she would forgive her. But Normani would come home after the concert with more videos of Camila and more autographed merchandise and Lauren would get sucked right back in. Even though at this point she's pretty sure she never actually escaped Camila's hold on her, even three years later.  

 

And Lauren's starting to think that maybe everything that has happened over the past few months is some kind of crazy sign. Normani falling in love with Camila's music, Dinah finding her in the bar, Normani winning backstage passes to Camila's show. She wonders if the universe is trying to help her get back on her feet again. Normani squeals in delight when she tells her that she's still going to go, and Lauren hopes that she's making the right decision. 

 

* * *

 

She's pretty sure that she's going to throw up. Her hands are sweaty on the steering wheel, her knuckles white from how tight of a grip she's keeping. Normani is radiating excitement, too caught up in her anticipation to notice that Lauren is about two seconds from driving them off the road. 

 

"I heard she's amazing live." Normani says in between one of Camila's songs. 

 

Lauren grips the wheel even tighter, sounding as bored as she possibly can. "I bet." 

 

She catches Normani's eye roll out of the corner of her eye. "Oh come on, Lauren. Try to have a little fun tonight, will you?" 

 

Lauren swallows, trying to get rid of the thickness in her throat. "Fine."  

 

Lauren tries to calm herself by jamming her earbuds in while they wait in line for what feels like an eternity. They head over to guest services once they make it into the actual venue, and the boy behind the desk calls for security so they can escort them backstage. 

 

It feels like a tornado is traveling through her stomach, and she eyes the garbage can in the corner of the room nervously.  

 

Security picks them up and takes them backstage, and Normani seems to finally pick up on Lauren's odd behavior because she eyes her with concern. "Are you okay?" 

 

Lauren squeezes Normani's hand. "I'm alright." She assures her as security drops them off at a lounge area.

 

"Are you sure? Because you look like you're about to be sick." 

 

Lauren fakes a smile, trying to put up a strong front for her best friend. "I think I ate bad takeout or something for lunch today. I'll be fine." 

 

A woman tells them that Camila is on her way, and Lauren's chest is so tight that she has to constantly remind herself to breathe.  

 

"Oh my gosh, Lauren! I can't believe we get to meet her, and for more than a few seconds!" Normani exclaims. 

 

She picks up on the clicking of heels just as Normani says, "I think that's her!"

 

Lauren looks up at Normani. She feels bad, because whatever is about to go down is definitely not what Normani expects it to be. She can't even imagine how angry Normani is going to be when she finds out exactly what she has been keeping from her all this time. 

 

She reaches out and places a hand on her friend's knee to get her attention. "Normani, please don’t be mad at me." 

 

Normani looks confused. "What? Why?" 

 

Lauren thinks that maybe she should just tell her now. "The thing is-" 

 

"Hi guys! I'm Camila. It's nice to meet you."  

 

Lauren whips her head towards the voice she hasn’t heard in person in three years.  

 

Camila's face turns pale, a frown forming in place of her smile. 

 

Lauren gasps, her heart set ablaze with love. Camila looks just as beautiful as the day she let her go.

 

"Lauren?" Camila breathes out, utter shock evident in her voice. 

 

Lauren stands up, wiping her sweaty hands against her pants and reaching up to scratch the back of her neck nervously. "Hi, Camz."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This idea wouldn't let me go, so I had to write about it. I'm not sure how many chapters it'll end up being yet, but I'll let you know as soon as I know. :) Also, Thank you guys for all of your support on my other story You Make Breathing Impossible. For a while I had quite a bit of trouble coming up with ideas for the story, but I do have stuff written for it, so expect more from that soon. As always, please feel free to comment and let me know what you think of this story so far!


	3. Lauren 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lauren discovers that not all ideas are good ideas.

Camila isn't saying anything, and it's making Lauren extremely nervous. And okay, it's not like she was expecting Camila to run into her arms and kiss her senseless, but the silence? It's killing her. 

 

She turns to Normani for a brief moment to see how she's handling the present situation, and truthfully she doesn't seem to be taking it very well either. Her eyes are nearly popping out of her head, and her mouth is dropping open and closed in a continuous cycle.  

 

Oh, Jesus. What has she done?

 

"Camila." Lauren tries again, stepping into the girl's space. "Please say something." 

 

Camila's frown only deepens. "Lauren, what-" 

 

"-Hold up." Normani interrupts, having recovered from her momentary shock. "You two know each other?" 

 

Lauren smiles sheepishly, turning around to address her friend. "Surprise?" 

 

When Lauren turns back to Camila she looks unimpressed. And angry, definitely angry. She lifts her hand towards Lauren's cheek, leaning in and promptly slapping her. "What the hell are you doing here?" Her ex-girlfriend demands with fire in her eyes.  

 

Lauren's love filled heart crawls deep into her chest, deflating. "I-I don't know, exactly." 

 

Camila shakes her head, seething with rage and years of pent up emotion. "That's it? That's all you have to say? I spend three years with nothing but radio silence and this is how you decide to break it?" 

 

Lauren flinches at Camila's scolding. "Camz, I know you're upset and confused but-" 

 

"-Upset? Upset is an understatement, Lauren! You left me when I needed you the most, and now, the second I finally start to move on, you show back up to ruin my life a second time around." Camila yells, pacing around the room.  

 

"I'm sorry." Lauren tries weakly. 

 

Camila seems to remember that there is another guest in the room because she gasps and turns to Normani apologetically. "I'm sorry," She begins, gathering herself and taking a deep, much needed breath. "This is completely unprofessional of me." 

 

Normani shakes her head in awe. "No no no, its alright. I really don't mind." 

 

Lauren smiles gratefully at Normani. "Hey, Mani?" 

 

Normani looks at her. "Hmm?" 

 

"Could you maybe, um, give us a moment?" Lauren asks, practically begging her friend with her eyes.  

 

Normani nods and slips out of the room. "I'll be here when you need me. Oh, and you owe me a big fucking explanation when we get home." 

 

Camila narrows her eyes at the now closed door. "Is she your girlfriend or something?" 

 

"Roommate." Lauren answers quickly. "She's just my roommate." 

 

Camila sighs. "Well that's good, at least you didn't come here to rub a relationship in my face." 

 

"You're right, I definately didn't." Lauren agrees. 

 

"Then why are you here?" Camila asks, running a hand through her hair and sitting down on the couch.  

 

Lauren sighs in frustration. She doesn't even know why she's here. How is she supposed to explain it to Camila? "You won an AMA, okay?" Lauren says after a moment, taking a seat next to Camila and draping an arm across her face as if she could shield herself from the tense situation. 

 

Camila furrows her brows, missing the point completely. "What does that have to do with anything? Are you coming after my money or something?"  

 

Lauren laughs despite herself. "No, Camz. It's not like that. It's just, you won an AMA, and my best friend out there couldn't stop listening to your music, and after that I kept getting dragged into things involving you. I guess I kind of took it as a sign that I needed to see you again." 

 

"You're serious." Camila deadpans.  

 

Lauren shrugs. "It's crazy, I know." 

 

Camila crosses her arms and gives Lauren a stern look. "Look Lauren, I don't know what you thought was going to happen with you showing up here and all, but you can't just leave for three years and think you're going to pop back in when it's convenient for you."  

 

Lauren sighs, choosing her next words carefully. "Camila, I didn't come here with the intention of getting back together with you." 

 

"You didn't?" Camila eyes her suspiciously. 

 

"I don't think something like that would be good for either of us right now." Lauren explains, shrugging off her leather jacket and leaning back against the couch. 

 

"So you want to be what? Friends?" Camila guesses, narrowing her eyes. 

 

"Maybe." Lauren says coolly. "If you're willing to consider it. We were friends before, you know." 

 

Camila laughs dryly. "Yeah. I think we both remember how long that lasted." 

 

Lauren rests her head against her hand, turning to look at Camila with a fond smile. "Oh, I remember alright." 

 

Camila lets herself smile for a second too, but just like that she's shaking her head and shutting herself down. "Lauren...I don't think it was right for you to come here tonight." 

 

"Oh." Lauren says dejectedly. She didn't expect Camila to welcome her back into her life with open arms, but she definitely couldn't have predicted rejection hurting this much. "Right...of course. I'm a total idiot. I-I don't know why I even thought..." She trails off, burying her head in her hands. 

 

There's a knock on the door and suddenly someone is popping their head in. "Ms. Cabello you have to be in wardrobe in 5 minutes." 

 

Camila looks up from where she was staring intently at the ground. "Thank you." She smiles politely. "I'll be there in a minute." 

 

"Lauren-" Camila starts once the crew member shuts the door.

 

"I'm going to go." Lauren announces abruptly, standing up and grabbing her jacket. She reaches into her pocket, pulling out a post-it note and placing it in Camila's hand.  

 

Camila eyes it with confusion. 

 

"It's uh, my number. I changed it after the um, you know." Lauren clears her throat. "I meant what I said about wanting to be friends again someday. I know you're busy and that you probably hate me, but if for some reason you don't actually hate me, or even if you just need someone to talk to, I'll be here for you...okay? I know I haven't been in the past, but I am now, even if you never speak to me again." 

 

Camila's lips curl up a bit, and she nods her head. "I'll keep that in mind." 

 

Lauren smiles sadly and reaches for the door handle, turning around one last time before she exits. "Take care of yourself, okay?" 

 

Lauren shuts the door behind her, allowing her back to collapse against it. She releases a deep sigh and tries to ignore the pang in her chest. 

 

"Hey, you okay?"  

 

Lauren looks up to find Normani watching her with soft, sympathetic eyes.  

 

"Hey, Mani." She manages to get out despite how emotionally exhausted she's feeling right now.

 

"You're still not off the hook from questioning, but I'm thinking maybe for right now we should just go home." Normani suggests quietly, and Lauren is beyond grateful for her best friend.

 

"Yeah." Lauren agrees. "I think so too." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and...not so sweet.


End file.
